Don’t Feel Guilty if You Need Alone Time
Readers, please enjoy this guest blog post by Diane Brandon, author of Dream Interpretation for Beginners, Intuition for Beginners, and the new Born Aware.
Have you ever craved some alone time after a full day with other people? And have you felt guilty about wanting to spend some time alone?
Please don’t feel guilty!
The need for alone time is natural. It’s also healthy. And some people need it more than others.
If you’re one of those who enjoys spending time by yourself and yet feel guilty about it, ask yourself how you’ve felt after having some of that alone time. Did you feel different? Did you feel better? Were there any other differences you experienced?
Alone time is really good for us, especially if we’re the type of person who needs it. People who are sensitive, who are spiritual, who are creative, who are introspective, who are observers all need some quality alone time.
Let’s parse this out some more. Have you ever felt drained after being around people? If so, have you ever thought about which people you’ve been around who have led you to feel this way? Have you ever thought about your own attributes, especially compared to the list above?
If you’re sensitive and empathetic, it may be easier for you to feel others’ energy—and often involuntarily, not because you decided to. If you’re an empath, you can’t help but feel and sometimes absorb others’ energy. This can feel good when you’ve been around positive people or people with whom you resonate. However, if you’ve been around “negative” people (those who complain a lot or criticize you) or people who are often referred to as “energy vampires” (those who are sucking or feeding on your energy, often without intending to) or people who are quite needy, you may end up feeling drained.
In these instances, having alone time can feel like a respite. You can get back to yourself and plug into your center (especially if you meditate). You end up finding your “batteries” re-charged. You find yourself feeling replenished and ready to take on the world again.
This is true, as well, if you’re an observer or someone with depth. If you’re observing things, people, situations, etc., you need that alone time to digest and process what you observed. After you’ve had that needed alone time, you end up feeling that you’ve gained more awareness or insight about what you were observing. And new insights, in and of themselves, can feed us.
Alone time serves a healthy purpose. In addition to re-charging and replenishing our energy, it also allows us to gain those useful insights.
Our culture may lead us to feel guilty if we’re not giving, giving, giving or being available 24/7 to help others. And helping others is indeed a wonderful thing to do. However, consider this: there always needs to be a circle of energy. If we’re just giving of our energy all the time and not feeling any energy coming back in, we will likely end up feeling depleted. And, if we’re feeling depleted and drained and without energy, we won’t be any good for anyone else. There’s no need to feel guilty about self-care. It can lead us to have more to give.
So what can you do?
If you find yourself resisting the need for alone time, ask yourself what is at the root of your resistance. Guilt? Pressure from others? Old cultural or familial conditioning? Once you’ve identified the cause, allow yourself to work on healing it. Remind yourself that you deserve to feel sanctity and be healthy. Re-program that old thinking. After all, you want to be good for both others and yourself. Remind yourself of this, too. Alone time is good for you (and others).
So allow yourself to take that alone time—guilt free. Think of it as a prescription for your health and wellbeing. You deserve it—and you need it.
Our thanks to Diane for her guest post! For more from Diane Brandon, read her article, “Why Some People are Born Aware.”
