Readers, please enjoy this guest blog post by Larry Sagen, who works with Elana Zaiman (author of the new book The Forever Letter).
George Burns, the godfather of early comedy radio and television, once said: “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family— in another city.”
Ahh, Thanksgiving! A paradox for many! By design, it’s a holiday about thanks and appreciation for all we have, yet for many, Thanksgiving offers more stress than gratitude. And this Thanksgiving may be even more difficult, exacerbated by our country’s growing political and social divide.
In her new book The Forever Letter, author, speaker, rabbi, chaplain, and social worker Elana Zaiman offers hope, new perspectives, and tools that can help both holiday hosts and guests shift their focus from fear and avoidance to a place of deep listening, healing, and authentic communication.
Zaiman has been working with families from different cultures for more than twenty years, and she wrote the book to help people of all ages more effectively and productively share their love, gratitude, forgiveness, and personal agendas in ways that enhance relationships, rather than destroy them.
She observed that many Thanksgiving meals begin with the dreaded exercise of going around the table with everyone sharing one thing for which they are grateful for; she came to the conclusion that people often respond out of peer pressure and obligation, rather than with a deeply considered response.
Zaiman recommends a simple adjustment that can make the exercise and experience more positive, powerful, and meaningful:
“I suggest that people take some time before Thanksgiving to deeply think about what they are grateful for and to whom they are grateful. This may sound hokey, but I believe that when people sitting around the table speak from their hearts about their gratitude and appreciation, and that when they’re more in touch with what really matters to them, their words bring people together at a deeper level, positively impacting the experience for all.”
Both The Forever Letter and Zaiman have received high praise from authors and speakers, including Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul), Parker Palmer (Let Your Life Speak), and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman (The Gottman Institute); ethics expert Michael Josephson (Josephson Institute of Ethics); clergy, including Rev. Susan Sparks (Laugh Your Way to Grace), Rabbi Sherre Hirsch (Thresholds: How to Thrive Through Life’s Transitions to Live Fearlessly and Regret-Free); and prominent Elder Law and Estate Planning Attorney Barbara Isenhour.
The Forever Letter makes an inspirational holiday gift that will keep on giving from generation to generation.
Our thanks to Larry for his guest post! For more from Elana Zaiman, read her article “3 Reasons to Write a Forever Letter” and her blog post, “It’s Never Too Late to Learn Your Own Lessons.”
