The Paranormal Epiphany
Readers, please enjoy this guest blog post by Sarah Soderlund, author of the new Haunted by the Abyss.
I have the honor of talking, lecturing, and even writing about my paranormal adventures all over the world, but only just recently did a certain question prompt a moment of introspection that made me realize everything has changed.
I used to be a young, motivated student on a quest to gather the most undeniable paranormal evidence that those in my life who had refuted my most intimate supernatural experiences would be forced to believe. My motto on my website was to “bridge the gap between science and spirituality,” and I truly believed I could do it. I traveled to Paris, France for a late night investigation of the bone-infested catacombs, and I stood at the base of the London Tower believing that my evidence could change the world. I suppose it is natural for everyone to have that self-prophetic vision of themselves, an ego larger than life, but I truly felt within my soul that there was something about my haunted childhood that would keep me focused and diligent on my quest to be “right” about it all; that the paranormal was real. Each time someone got word of my reputation as a paranormal investigator there was either a newly formed friendship on the brim of blossoming or I was facing another “non-believer.”
Over time, however, the skeptics had taken a new form; they were not just objective people with questions, but rather somehow seemed to mock me, which brought back harsh memories I had been trying to bury from my childhood humiliations as a “weird, ghost-obsessed girl.” For nearly two decades I investigated every weekend, took the darkest cases without fear, and was bound and determined to “change the paranormal field” into something more rational, more logical, and into something people couldn’t laugh or brush off.
However, somewhere along the way, I became a little more “normal.” Investigations gave way to late night study sessions and paranormal case briefings gathered dust underneath college essays and dissertation research. Weeks spent in my car on the road from one haunted location to the next bent to the stability of becoming a mother, signing a lease, creating a home for my two growing boys. My motto morphed from proving something to helping others, and eventually became more of a growing narration of self-exploration. It was a late night interview on a paranormal podcast wherein the host asked, “So what major epiphany or major moment has really changed for you since working in the Paranormal?” that prompted this introspection. I took a long moment, a deep breath, and an awkward radio silence and responded with something that surprised him as well as myself. It had not been a ghost pushing me down some stairs or the acquisition of amazing paranormal evidence, both of which I have countless stories of, but instead was a change of perception. Somewhere along the way I had taken all the amazing paranormal experiences, within my own heart and mind, and it had changed me from the inside out.
It wasn’t a demon, a negative attachment, or some spooky scary story, but instead an accumulation of moments. I realize now that what the paranormal field embodies is not something that will ever fit into the logical, scientific, rational mold that most want so badly. There will never be a mass acceptance of “right” and “wrong” in regards to spirituality, but instead it serves as an intimate piece of each person’s human experience. Just as religion cannot function without faith, the paranormal could not function in a world of absolutes—and for that, I’m thankful. The experiences I’ve had and the stories I share are a part of my human experience, brief steps into the Other Side to see just how amazing things can be beyond the physical realm. Those experiences do not fit into a measurable box, and I’m glad I stopped trying to make something so spiritually beautiful conform to something so logical.
Our thanks to Sarah for her guest post! For more from Sarah Soderlund, read her article, “A Checklist: 5 Considerations When Examining Paranormal Phenomena.”
