What You Need to Know About a Capricorn Man

Capricorn
December 22 - January 20

He's told you before that sex to him is not knowing where you end and where he begins, and you're surprised that a man so self-contained allows his body to mesh with another's so completely. In fact, you've learned to pay careful attention to the small things with him—a glance, a touch, a shift in stance speaks volumes about what he's feeling. These little clues provide infinitely more comfort than a thousand words, because you know that talk is cheap. The simple kindness he gives you provides his feelings well enough, for when he fills you, he looks into your eyes and you know that you fill him just as completely.

Saturn, the Deposed King
Commander of the old holy order, Saturn ruled during the Golden Age of man, when all was a utopia and man was still pure. Eventually, Saturn was dethroned by his son, Jupiter (Greek: Zeus) and man sank to the folly and hedonism personified by Jupiter's many lusts and his desire for vengeance. The Capricorn himself always has the air of a man eternally stuck in the good old days. He's aware of the destructive changes men have wrought on themselves, and still he tries to maintain some of the original purity of the race of mankind through traditional values. He clings to his beliefs, maintaining a stoic, detached exterior. And he reacts to his patron's fall from favor by retaining some grace and attempting to achieve a measure of respect for himself through social and economic positions.

In astrology, Saturn governs self-control, responsibility, and the "thou shall not's" of life. The Capricorn male is not so much born to rule as he is a man who has already ruled and is having one hell of a time giving up the leadership position. In an effort to do so, he may become overly judgmental of others or over lax in his self-control, resorting to drugs and alcohol to help him relax his need to dominate a situation, or even as tools for subversively doing so. Saturn himself, in fear of losing his authority, ate his children as soon as they were born to ensure they could not fulfill the prophesy of one of them taking his throne. When Zeus attempted to do just that, such a war ensued as to nearly destroy the world. And, as many exiled rulers are, he became the scapegoat for everything that was wrong, while Jupiter, the new ruler, was heralded as the perfect king.

His Top Traits Explored
He's Repressed. The sign of Capricorn stands for restriction, self-control, social status, and generally any pursuit that takes a great deal of time for fruition. The Capricorn male faces a life-long struggle with his excessive tendencies, trying to package his larger-than-life personality into a more conventional bread box to make it easier for himself and others to handle.

As a somewhat pessimistic fatalist, the Capricorn male leans toward self-indulgence, especially of the illegal substance and sexual affair varieties. (After all, what's the point of being so self-controlled if there's nothing there that needs to be controlled?) It's uncomfortably easy for him to talk himself into betraying his lover or his health by reminding himself that everything's bound to end anyway, regardless of what he does at any particular moment. However, he could not be a Capricorn without rigid self-regulation, and in an attempt to control his raunchier cravings, many Capricorn men have a tendency to become fanatical followers of religion or societal traditions. Part of him believes that women were made to take care of men, and that it is his lover's job to make sure his home life is as comfortable and secure as possible, regardless of his extra-marital activities.

His fluctuation between steely repression and melting self-indulgence is a trademark of his sexual expressiveness in the bedroom. His sudden passions are followed by long periods of detachment—in a way, his abstinence is a means of penance for his previous hot and heavy behavior either because his religious attitudes make him feel guilty or because he has scared himself with his inhibitions and the power of his lust for you. If his partner becomes resentful over this ebb and flow, he's likely to take his sexual attentions elsewhere, letting her deal with one side of his personality and his mistress the other.

There's also a certain kinkiness hidden in the Capricorn's personality. It doesn't have to do with various positions, exotic accoutrements, etc. It has more to do with playing a few taboo masculine roles like simulating rape or incest, playing High Priest or Dark Official during sexual religious rites, or having sex with multiple women or prostitutes at the same time. Again, what's the point of repression if there's nothing to repress?

He's Emotionally Aloof. Does he want a relationship or not? Is he interested in you sexually? Is he in love or does he just barely tolerate you? It's hard to tell with this stoic man. Although it's tough to see on the surface, he does have feelings—quite a lot of them, actually, and they all run deep. His heart is remarkably fragile, and when he falls in love he does so with such abandon that it terrifies him; however, there's a good chance that the object of his affection knows little about his feelings for her.

One of the reasons for his lack of demonstrativeness is that he's always holding out for something better to come along and he doesn't want to make any commitment before he's sure that his lover is as good as he'll get. He enjoys the freedom of being able to move from one woman to another, even if it tears him apart. Being born under the sign of repression means that he's continually fluctuating between extravagant displays and total emotional detachment.

In order to find out how this man is feeling, it will probably be necessary to poll the people closest to him, and you can expect to get a small piece of the puzzle from each. He'll only rarely tell you outright, and any attempt to force it out of him will be met by either withdrawal or with an explosion of anger. Even after sex, his emotions are difficult to determine, and he's one of those men who will talk about previous relationships more than his current one without any regard as to which is more important or dedicated.

He's Practical. Each action is carefully thought out and every consequence examined in each facet. The Capricorn male is rational and practical; his life is measured and ambitious. His extreme practicality is a method of hiding his sometimes bizarre inner life and it also serves as a way to minimize the effects of his impulsive tendencies, which can devastate his finances and relationships.

Measuring every quality of his lover before forming any commitments can be a blow to his partner's pride. It is, however, a habitual Capricorn trademark. When he does commit, it's with the understanding that he'll leave it someone better comes along. Often, he attempts to soften the impact of this by telling his partner that she has the same option. The perpetual social climber, he prefers to marry for money and status rather than love, although if he stumbles upon the embodiment of his ideals (usually someone naïve and wholesome), he'll be willing to lessen the financial expectations somewhat—especially if his own situation is stable.

Although his approach to sex is practical, he has more than the normal amount of fetishes and far-out fantasies. His practical nature gets in the way of his sexual expression as he is bound by what he feels he is and is not allowed to do in bed. Eventually, this unspent energy has to go somewhere, and he'll either find himself in another woman's bed or drowning in substance abuse. His traditional mindset, the prescribed roles for women, his all-important social standing all link together to make it nearly impossible for him to find a mate who's as in to unusual sex as he is; although, he's infinitely happier if he's able to make such a connection.

Sex with a Capricorn Male
Being made of cardinal earth, this man is more than likely extremely good in bed. When not engaged in his aforementioned kinkier acts, he likes straight sex without the frills—on the surface, anyway. He has some naughtier inclinations that he might not feel comfortable having the "traditional woman" he's chosen to partner with satisfy. (Doing so would detract from her wholesome appearance.) He enjoys pleasuring his partner, taking firm command of her body. Capricorns tend to be born with the sexual knowledge of an experienced middle-aged man. As long as he isn't one of those deeply repressed or traditional Capricorns who tend to expect his partner to please or stimulate him rather than doing any of the work himself, he will take most of the accountability for the caliber of the sex in his relationships, using his ability to delay his own orgasms to both his and his partner's advantage.

He's often attracted to other men because they possess qualities he wishes he himself had. With his general confusion about the metaphysics of sex, he can turn this attraction or appreciation into sexual energy, wishing to be a part of the other man through sexual means in order to somehow share in his glory. Because of his typically traditional values, such feelings can leave him traumatized and distraught about his masculinity, and drive him to pursue ever more female conquests or religious purifications.

It's rare for the Capricorn to have a sexual experience that isn't well thought out beforehand—even his affairs are planned. Because sex has a lot of traditional and religious meanings, the Capricorn cannot and will not take it lightly, although he may take his relationships for granted. For this reason, sex with him can feel like a solemn event, full of dark looks and ritualism and lacking in any positive or joyous emotion. When his oppressive air is coupled with his tendency to cheat, the Capricorn's worst enemy is himself and his partners have a high risk of suffering negative emotional consequences simply for being involved with him.

Preferred Games
The Metrosexual. He knows how to dress to play his role to its best advantage. His shirt, pants, shoes, and woman are all in style and look fabulous draped around him. He's desperately interested in social status, and seeks ways of outdoing every other man in the room—he doesn't really take the competition from women very seriously. Everything is designed and arranged to best suit him and his ambitions; he isn't afraid to marry purely for money or status.

The Zealot. Whichever religion he chooses—probably the most popular one in his area—he's absolutely certain of its truth. He brings piety to a new level, and you'll find him in church whenever they'll let him in. Religion gives him a ready-made list of rules and restrictions, and an explanation for why each and every one of them is necessary and what to do to absolve himself of any indiscretion he commits. He won't always stick to the sexual rules prescribed to him, but he will at least feel guilty each time he violates them.

The Man. He's the man, and that means he's in charge. He's the breadwinner, wears the pants in the family, and makes all the major decisions. He can be as stubborn as an unruly child when he doesn't get his way, and he actually stomps his foot and pouts, perhaps even knocking over a few plates, until you give in. He firmly believes that women are scatter-brained, petty, catty, childlike people, who are there for his pleasure and should come and go at his command. He can be persuaded by them, sure, but only because he enjoys spoiling them and making them giggle. The truth is that he doesn't like competition and by undermining over half the population, he removes over half of his challengers.

The Master. As already noted, the Capricorn male loves being in charge and some of his favorite sexual fantasies involve playing the masculine role in some inappropriate sexual situation. He loves being in full control of his partner, and having her either obey his every command, or be in such a scenario where she has no choice but to acquiesce, such as blindfolded and gagged. When he plays with BDSM, there are no safe words involved. Playing with experienced, "well-worn" women makes these games easier in the end, and he isn't above hiring help.

The Corrupter. Few things meet his egotistical, misogynistic needs like corrupting someone who already has a higher status and is purer of thought and body. He enjoys wealthy, naïve women to whom he can introduce sex, drugs, and the dark side of society. Orchestrating an aristocrat's fall from grace, and being the maestro of her descent, is intoxicating for him and helps him affirm some of his beliefs that women should act as he thinks they should, or suffer the consequences.

What He Needs to Learn About Sex
Mr. Capricorn needs to find a means of strengthening his confidence out of the bedroom before he decides to bring his ego into bed with him. His traditional views of women can place undue restriction on both him and his partner, and true emotional fulfillment in a relationship occurs when both people are equal and equally appreciated. He would also benefit from learning how to experience joy in sex. Meditation and concentration on physical sensations rather than intellectual consequences could help him here, especially if the exercises are done with a partner he respects and cherishes.

Excerpted from The Sex Files, by Rowan Davis