When I became a professional astrologer almost thirteen years ago, I wanted to specialize but didn't know which subject area to focus upon. So I let the universe decide. As calls came in and my business grew, it became obvious I was meant to do relationship and compatibility work. Over ninety percent of the calls for consultations were about love. Some of my clients had wonderful "soul mate" stories to share. Others had heartbreaking experiences. Many were looking for love. Others had just been through tough divorces or breakups and needed time to heal.
After years of working with all sorts of people from all walks of life—different ages, cultures, backgrounds, and religions—I came to the realization that we are all the same in one important way: we all want to love and be loved. Deep down, even people who seem angry and hurt and claim to have sworn off love, truly need it and want it. They just don't want the pain that seems to go with it.
So, how do you find a special love? And once you've found it, how do you keep it? It all begins with you and your perception of yourself.
Anytime you affirm the positive in "you," you affirm the positive in relationships with others. Special people are easily drawn to you when you feel good about who you are. If you truly like yourself; others will be attracted to that positive energy around you. Think of someone you know that seems to be well-liked at work or in your social circle. Think of someone successful, smart, and happy. What's he got that others don't? A sense of self-confidence. And that confidence helps him spread his wings, to go that extra mile, and perhaps take chances most people would not. How about a woman you know that doesn't look like a model but has no problem attracting men? This "average" gal probably doesn't think she's "average." She knows she's special, and that's what makes a difference in how people perceive her. When you feel good about who you are, you will talk, walk, and carry yourself differently than if you're down on yourself.
If you don't have movie star looks or a PhD, so what? Everyone is born with different talents. It's your responsibility to find out what those talents are and start nurturing and expanding upon them. The best way to build self-confidence is to do something you are great at. If you have a flair for cooking, think about catering or opening a restaurant. If you love dancing, join a class or start a dance group. That's certainly a great way to meet people.
It amazes me how many of us work hard to find a new job or to expand our career, but we can't seem to apply that same ethic to finding a relationship. If we put just as much time and energy into meeting someone as we put into a job hunt or career climb, we'd probably have tons of options and offers for love! I hear the same sentiment from both men and women, "I can't meet anyone. All the good ones are taken." Or, "No one ever asks me out." I know for a fact that there are plenty of decent guys and girls out there that are looking for long-term commitments ... because I hear from them everyday. It's just a matter of finding them!
Here are some tips that will help bring love into your life:
In my latest book, there are many examples of how to draw love to you. And once you have found that perfect love, the book helps you determine how compatible you and your partner are. It is written primarily for teens and the young adult market, but I have had people of all ages express an interest in the techniques included in the book to find out more about making that "love vibe" work. From astrological compatibility to working with candle magic and the ancient numerology formulas, Maria Shaw's Book of Love can give you some insight and spiritual guidance.
Love is magical. I want you to know that you can create and manifest love in your life! One of the ways I teach people to do this in Maria Shaw's Book of Love is to learn to channel their energies correctly to draw love into their world. We can do this through the art of candle magic.
The rules for candle magic are simple. Buy a candle in a color for a specific intention. Begin your candle burning on the day of the week that's best suited to your intention. Set-up is easy, too. Find a nice, quiet area. Burn the candles at the same time every day, in the same room, and for the same intention. You should use a fresh candle every day. Place your candle in a clear crystal, metal, glass, or wood holder. Make sure it is secure and don't leave it unattended.
Some people place a rose quartz gemstone near the base of their candle while it burns. Rose quartz is known as the love stone, and the energy from that particular stone can help energize the power of your intention.
I suggest you burn the candle for ten minutes each day. If you cannot stay with the candle that long, burn it for at least two minutes each day. As you light the candle, say a prayer or affirmation out loud. Here are a few suggestions from Maria Shaw's Book of Love:
To Attract Love To You
Candle color: Pink
Day: Start burning your candle on Tuesday if you're a girl. A guy starts on Friday.
Crystal: Rose quartz
Affirmation: "I draw perfect love to me. I'm filled with the power of love and attraction. I give thanks for love in my life."
For Self Confidence in Love
Candle Color: Red
Affirmation: "I am confident, self-assured, and special. People are attracted to me. I am loved and appreciated. There is no fear of rejection around me."
To Forgive Someone
Candle Color: Blue
Affirmation: "I forgive[name of person] for the harm, pain, or hurt they brought me. I let go of any resentment they have caused me."
To Overcome a Difficult Situation in a Relationship
Candle Color: Blue
Crystal: Blue lace agate
Affirmation: "I give thanks that I am able to overcome any difficulties and challenges in a positive way. Problems and obstacles fall by the wayside. My path is clear and inviting. No harm comes to me."
To Find Your Soul Mate
Candle Color: White and purple and pink
Crystal: Amethyst, rose quartz, or clear quartz
Affirmation: "I am inviting my soul mate to come into my life now. I am ready to embrace you with an open heart, mind, and soul. I am thankful for your presence and love."
To fall in love can transform our very being. It can make us all better people. Our souls already know this. That's why everyone seeks this unique connection.
I urge you to view all of the relationships that enter your life as gifts. Be they positive or negative influences, each person possesses a gift that will help you grow spiritually. Chance meetings are not coincidental. The people you ride next to on the subway or stand with a grocery line may have a purpose in your life, Some are obviously more meaningful than others, but each still serves a divine purpose. Who you choose to be with romantically and love is even deeper.
The next time you meet someone, think for a moment, "What am I supposed to learn from this person?" Even if you just strike up a polite conversation for a few minutes, there's something to learn. Maybe someone just flashes a smile and that gesture brightens your mood.
Each and every one of us is divine. We have a physical sense but also a spiritual sense. Because we can see, hear, and touch each other physically, it's easy to look at others only in a physical way. But take a moment to ponder someone's spiritual essence. How do you "feel" about her?
I urge you to begin looking at your relationships in the spiritual sense. And feel blessed. We all come together for a purpose. The most meaningful part of life is not getting an expensive car or buying a Gucci bag—it's our relationships with others. There are constant exchanges each and every day, and they may be more meaningful that you've ever imagined.
Throughout your life, people come and go. Some will touch your life more than others. There will be the great loves of your life as well as those people who cause you heartache. There will be someone you'll never forget and someone you'll never let go of. Love changes our lives. And allowing yourself to be open to the most powerful emotion of which we are capable is truly a choice to accept a gift. Love is the best gift you can give someone and the greatest you can receive. Be open to all of your opportunities to create and share love in your life!