Writing Sexy Witch

I wrote Sexy Witch because I believe that learning to care for ourselves, to love our bodies and to become self-defining are radical, magickal acts. And, I believe there can never be too many books out there that offer women a process to step into our power and walk our paths as fully-empowered, strong, sensual and self-possessed people.

While Sexy Witch was written for women, I do hope that many men will read it as well. It is built within a framework of cultural context. It will be an eye-opening, mind-expanding ride for any man willing to read text written for a female audience. Some of the exercises will prove a bit irrelevant to those without a birth canal, but you could always pretend you have a vulva, just for the sake of the exercises, right?

A side benefit of writing Sexy Witch is that I was the first beneficiary of the amazing initiation that is Sexy Witch! Having lived through it, I can say it was all well worth the work. For me, the process of creating the book was most likely a bit more grueling than reading it will be for you, so don't be afraid. You have only inhibition, loathing, and restriction to lose, and everything to gain.

Writing this book was an intense experience. Not only was it my first book (a life-defining goal for me that's been a long time coming, and that arrived at exactly the right moment), but I also went through every visualization that is included, performed the rituals, and confronted issue after issue as I worked through the material.

I was triggered again and again by the research I performed, by the words as they flowed onto the page and by the magickal workings. I found my process of self-definition being stimulated and activated as I first tore into my sense of despair, attachment, and pain, and then felt myself being revitalized as I began building the chapters that attend to the process of reconstruction of personal identity.

The experience of writing Sexy Witch was amazing. I learned a lot, both on the research and the magickal side of things. I received a lot of new information about myself, and learned a lot about my beliefs. I got to hone some of my ideas, which was super fun for me. I cleared a lot of my personal blocks regarding body image, self-esteem, and sexual personae. I got to work through the hard bits of the book, and cried and laughed as I laid the words down on the page. It was really an intensely passionate experience unlike anything I've ever done before, though the comparisons to birth are not off base.

It was like making love and giving birth at the same time, and all on one's own. Kind of amazing, though it starts feeling a bit narcissistic if I allow myself to fall too deep into the great big cauldron of self-love. However, to quote Whitman, "... nothing, not God, is greater to one than one's self is ... I hear and behold God in every object, yet understand God not in the least; Nor do I understand who there can be more wonderful than myself." And really, that couldn't be more on-target with the overall message of the book. If there is anything that I wish for readers of Sexy Witch, it's that they take a long, deep drink from the sacred well where we are perfect in our seeking, and in our loving, of ourselves.

One of the strangest things that happened in the process of writing Sexy Witch occurred while I was writing chapter four. I was researching stories of how the medical establishment had treated women's "issues," or mistreated them, rather. After a couple days of researching, reading, and absorbing information, I was sleeping and had a very visceral and frightening dream that involved leeches being somewhere they should absolutely not have been. The next day, I Googled leeches and women's ailments, and found accounts of women being treated for some ailments by bleeding of the cervix. I took that as a sign that something or someone wanted that story to be told. So I told it.

While that was a really bizarre example of the unseen guiding this project, many forces, a lot of which were the people in my life, were supporting me. I asked Annie Sprinkle and Nina Hartley (both friends and sex-positive, feminist icons to me) to write my forewords, and both said yes without thinking twice. I feel honored to have their lovely words as the entry point to Sexy Witch. I have had an amazing team to work with at Llewellyn, and it's been a great induction into the world of publishing. I have a community of friends around me who helped me out in so many ways, and a wonderful partner who held down the fort while I hunkered behind the machine for weeks on end. I was crazy enough to agree to a really short deadline—three months—and am so glad I did. It was hard, but I got through it, and now feel capable of pulling off pretty much anything I put my mind to.

Yes, it's been an initiation. While I hope that you get more sleep while working through the book than I did while writing it, I hope that Sexy Witch offers you even a small percentage of the benefits that it has already brought me.